Man:      You sit here, dear.      
Wife:      All right.
Man:      Morning!
Waitress:      Morning!
Man:      Well, what've you got?
Waitress:      Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings:      Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress:      ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings:      Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress:      ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife:      Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress:      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife:      I don't want ANY spam!
Man:      Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife:      THAT'S got spam in it!
Man:      Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings:      Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife:      Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress:      Urgghh!
Wife:      What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings:      Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:      Shut up!
Vikings:      Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:      Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife:      I don't like spam!
Man:      Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings:      Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:      Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man:      Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress:      You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings:       (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!