I suppose you are talkin about heroic-only lifes, cause no sort of hybrid you want will work well for epics. There some points:
1) Melee wizard can perfom okay without deep splash only with solid support of epic pastlifes and\or bunch of reaper points, good gear, tomes.
2) Monk levels still > rogue levels until you really want to do those traps (yet most splash wizards like to do traps)
3) There not very hard to beat heroic DC breakpoints, even in hybryd. I heavily doubt you have GS gear, so heroic slaver set + cannith crafted int item is the way to go.
For deep splash I'd advice go either 16 wiz\3 monk\1rog or 13 wiz\6monk\1rogue. Obvious way is henshin, depending what t5 you want.
18 wiz\2 rogue will work too, but you'll have to play it very-like you do pure wizard. Every time you'll go in melee you'll just scratch mobs, even with very high INT.
Anyway, you should start as lvl 1 rogue, use your xp stones or run korthos letting hireling carry you up to lvl 2. At 2 take wizard for expeditious, master touch and shield. So you can use greataxe or greatsword till lvl 4 without penality. If 18-2 you'll maybe want your evasion as soon as possible, if you plan to do some epics, take it only at mid-10th or at lvl 20 so you can place all points into UMD without penality. If splashing monks, you'll want your monk levels to progress into henshin faster.
For feats power attack, cleave and greater cleave are essentional, you wont do any direct damage with spells, and on elite\reaper you'll face number of mobs. Having 3 cleaves (+Eldrich strike) help to solve this trouble. Dont go for combat style feat line, you'll probably not meet prereqs anyway and wont have enough feat slots.
Race - gnome or drow. Starting stats
13 STR
20 INT
rest points you have in con.
feats for 18\2
1) power attack
3) cleave
6) wizard pastlife
9) great cleave
12) spell penetration
15) greater spell penetration
18) improved critical:blungeon
edit: if you cant handle to have good reflexes (no dex tome, no resistance\reposite gear), go insightful reflexe at lvl 6 and either choose what you need more - extra spell pen or +1 DC at 12\15. There no point to have evasion and fail saves

wizard feats:
1) quicken
5) extend
10) spell focus: enchantments
15) heighten or another spell focus for your choice
Itemization:
1-7 Random trash loot, crafted gear (Invulnerability armor, stat gear, ghost touch weapon), nicked greatsword or staff, nat gan staff, red slotted vorpal weapon with ghost bane augment, red fens gear.
8-20 slaver set sorcerers might essentional, crafted gear (int item at lvl 13 and 18, spell focus mastery hat at 13, sheltering item, hamp items). May use random loot gear if cant craft.
Very core item is elemental bloom. If you cant get one by some reason, use any best you can have, crafted, named or vorpal.
If 18-2 go heavily into harper for +9 melee power, +4 int, +3 all skills and probably eschew materials if you greedy or lazy :-D
In archmage go illusion only. Not really need to go past 3d core, all you need is cheap displacement.
Eldrich knight tree is very undepowered right now. Not a single enchantment here very powerfull or really worth investment beside 1st core and 1 point into item defence. Yet if you want it, take both buff SLAs, Light armor mastery (if 18-2), both int, arcane barrier, energy resistance and\or critical accuracy\damage. From t5 tenser toggle, doublestrike and eldrich tempest. Dont forget to take 15% attack speed in TA. If you like to play in a party take both 40% melee threat reduction from TA and 30% spell threat reducuction from archamage. Rest points spent in racial and\or archmage to get better spell pen or lower quicken price.
To go or not to go undead is a good question to discuss. There are pros and cons. I only may say for sure: undeads are harder to itemize.
Oh almost forgot. Another very good option for mele wizard is warforged. You will loose one feat for mithral plating, but you'll have +15 melee power, better AC\PRR and ability to reapair self. Thats probably best choice for solo. Yet its -2 DC.