Richard Vernon: You're not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out will be you.

John Bender: Eat my shorts.

Richard Vernon: What was that?

John Bender: Eat... My... Shorts.

Richard Vernon: You just bought yourself another Saturday.

John Bender: Ooh, I'm crushed.

Richard Vernon: You just bought one more.

John Bender: Well I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.

Richard Vernon: Good, cause it's going to be filled. We'll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word say it. Instead of going to prison you'll come here. Are you through?

John Bender: No.

Richard Vernon: I'm doing society a favor.

John Bender: So?

Richard Vernon: That's another one right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step. You want another one?

John Bender: Yes.

Richard Vernon: You got it! You got another one right there! That's another one pal!

Claire Standish: Cut it out!

Richard Vernon: You through?

John Bender: Not even close bud!

Richard Vernon: Good! You got one more right there!

John Bender: You really think I give a shit?

Richard Vernon: Another! You through?

John Bender: How many is that?

Brian Johnson: That's seven including when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.

Richard Vernon: Now it's eight. You stay out of this.

Brian Johnson: Excuse me sir, it's seven.