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OMG they are going to pull the plug!

Is it already this time of the year again?

*sigh*

We are okay for another year as long as the Ancient Ones are still being entertained by the offering up of Cordo's freshly frosted rent boys in Turbine's basement. The rent boy's each represent one of five different designated player types (Hardcore, PVP's, Casual, Forum Paladin and Raider - any other play styles in a sacrificial offering is currently unacceptable to the Ancient Ones). Cordo gathers the correct archetypes through Players Council invitations. The selected PC members then get invited to visit Turbine HQ. During the tour they are allowed to play Sins of Attrition. This is how the ritual forces the players themselves to determine how they will die. The object they pick in SoA forms the basis for how this will happen. The "last stop" on the tour for them is deep below the building where they are forcibly stripped and Cordo pays them with a DDO swag bag full of key chains, MacGuffins and T-shirts (which makes no sense because they were just stripped but hey it's Turbine) and some Turbine Points (the actual amount depends on whether it is during a bonus points promotion or not) and then gives each of his boys some "surprise love" (Resulting in a disgusting Cosmetic Effect) before the final step of the required ritual. The "Forum Paladin" must be the 1st to die as he is the most tainted. But before any deaths take place the "Hardcore" player must give endless critiques of the other players builds and gear set-ups. Often the "Raider" will also join in on this step and refuse to yield to the "Casual Player" that easily obtainable guaranteed drops are better than grinding for optimal gear in raids. He will also usually bitch about "free/unearned raid gear" from sources like Birthday Cake or Raiders Boxes. However he must only do this after the Hardcore player has started the conversation or the Ritual Streak Bonus will be lost. Whether they take any advice or not has no influence on events it is simply a requirement in order for the ritual to be done correctly. <string table error; table DID [0x00000000] token [0x00000000]>If the ritual is performed correctly the Ancient Ones will grab the sacrificial players soul stones up with a Giant Bigby's Guiding Hand and everything is Kosher (Kosher rent boys?) and DDO is granted another year of life. If not then they will destroy all of humanity along with the D&D license so it won't fuckin matter anyway. It goes without saying that the Ancient Ones will get tired of the rent boys being sacrificed before Cord gets tired of frosting them. When this finally happens the Ancient Ones will then require an entirely new ritual much to Cordo's disappointment. The Ancient Ones have hinted that a Tranny will be required in a new and entertaining to them ritual they designate as Ritual Update 31 "Crafting". If Cordo chooses to keep his penis, which is very unlikely as his sexuality and place on the gender spectrum is definitely suspect (His annual beard stunt is clearly his own attempt at a "beard") then LOTRO/Turbine staff has previously been tasked with securing employment of a Tranny as a back-up Community Manager to coordinate Post Update 31 rituals.