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Normal Topic Good news for stupid people! (Read 1736 times)
Count Dante
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Good news for stupid people!
Jun 28th, 2020 at 1:58am
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I want to take a little time and confront the ugly rumor mill that’s producing so many lies about my operation and just let my consumers and mules know that everything you’ve been reading has been completely unfounded.

Yes, I might have misrepresented myself in the past in a way that might appear to be a little shady or possibly approaching blatant lies, but I’d like to be completely clear of where we are now and what you can expect in the future.

Consumers – I promise you 100% delivery on at least two specific servers, a zero chance of receiving your goods on at least 3 servers, and about a 50/50 chance of getting what you paid for on the remaining servers.  No, I won’t tell you which ones fall into which category.

I’ve honored at least 60% of the orders I’ve received payment for so far.  If the lottery had that high of a payoff, everyone would play it!  So when you click that order button remember: you’ve only got a 40% chance of getting fucked out of your money!

Mules – Even though I heavily implied initially that my stock didn’t come from duping, I still need mules to do all the work for me while I take in all the profit.  Depending on the server, I will offer anywhere between a 35 to 50 percent cut of the profit for all orders filled.  That’s what I’m offering but it’s really going to be somewhere between a 10% cut down to nothing at all.  I’m basically going to pay you whatever the fuck I feel like at the time.

Remember: I can’t make money without your hard work!  So let’s get duping!

As mentioned, I’ve filled at least 60% of the orders I’ve been paid for.  If I haven’t burned you in the past, I most likely won’t burn you in the future.  Unless I do.  Stability or strength of character have never been my strong suits.


Before you click the buy button and give me your information please keep the following in mind:

I’m using the same set of skills to protect us as I’ve used to keep my socks anonymous here in the vault.  If I can fool all of you, I’m sure I can fool the authorities.
I’m not leaving my finger prints all over the web.
I’m not leaving a paper trail a mile wide behind me.
I will never get caught because I don’t know what the Dunning–Kruger effect is.
Even if I get caught, I absolutely will not sell you out to save my own skin.
Since I'll never get caught and I'm not the type of guy to sell other people out, there's no reason to throw me under the bus now before this all goes south.
Dealing with me is nothing like attaching a heavy rock with a long chain around your neck and throwing it into the ocean.
I’m absolutely someone you can trust with your personal information!
I will totally give money to charity like I said I would.  Wink
It’s not like you’re risking a permiban, deletion of all your characters or possible legal actions for being an accomplice when I get caught.
You don’t need to have your head examined for giving your credit card and personal information to the guy with over 100 socks.  If you can’t trust a perpetual liar, who can you trust?



This week only: contact me on discord and tell me your favorite Hag Master sock for a 50% discount on all purchases (which you may or may not receive).



« Last Edit: Jun 28th, 2020 at 2:00am by Count Dante »  

Grand wrote on Mar 11th, 2017 at 12:08am:
I'm a big believer in the old adage saw that you should never make a bet you can't afford to lose!
                   


Welcher.
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ddoplayer98
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Re: Good news for stupid people!
Reply #1 - Jun 28th, 2020 at 3:13pm
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This was thoroughly entertaining Rubbins, maybe don't use "Dunning-Kruger" its a bit of a complex thing, and well it kind of gives you away... sorry to ruin the fun...
  
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Kistilan
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Re: Good news for stupid people!
Reply #2 - Jun 28th, 2020 at 5:04pm
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You had me at "Good news for stupid people," but I'm just waiting for the party to get started.  Surely they're all on their way?

Count Dante wrote on Jun 28th, 2020 at 1:58am:
If you can’t trust a perpetual liar, who can you trust?


I'd probably trust Amber Heard over you, but only with a third party present.
  

-K¥§ťì£æñ- of Relics of the Last War
In Musk, we Trust
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Starkjade
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Re: Good news for stupid people!
Reply #3 - Jun 28th, 2020 at 5:57pm
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ddoplayer98 wrote on Jun 28th, 2020 at 3:13pm:
maybe don't use "Dunning-Kruger" its a bit of a complex thing


Really?  I find it very simple.
  

Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm shitfaced
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Snu Snu
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Drama is boring

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Re: Good news for stupid people!
Reply #4 - Jun 28th, 2020 at 6:39pm
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What did you expect? You are on the vault. It is a cesspool: rumors, lies, discrimination, stupidity, misinformation.

Or in other words:
Welcome to the Vault.
  

Bored Byond Belief
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Count Dante
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I Love Drama!

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Re: Good news for stupid people!
Reply #5 - Jun 29th, 2020 at 1:30am
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NGL; that was some first class trolling we did there.  I don't care if it comes off as pretentious, those posts were some of the funniest ever on the vault.

It would be more fair to modify the boobies, but I can't bring myself to tamper with art.  Not like the monkey is smart enough to find this or understand it even if he did.

The monkey has now been trained to suspect all reddit accounts wearing a banana.  He no longer has Strake's skirt to hide behind nor an audience to perform for.  The monkey can't even respond because if he does, it gives away 100% that he's been spotted and shows how easy it is to pick the monkey out of a crowd.

Certain socks have been spotted but not engaged with for later amusement.

The monkey is now being trained to try and remember old handles and start to scrutinize user names.  After that, the monkey will learn he can't trust anyone at all.
« Last Edit: Aug 12th, 2023 at 6:19pm by Count Dante »  

Grand wrote on Mar 11th, 2017 at 12:08am:
I'm a big believer in the old adage saw that you should never make a bet you can't afford to lose!
                   


Welcher.
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