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Very Hot Topic (More than 75 Replies) I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream (Read 12197 times)
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I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Oct 13th, 2020 at 1:51am
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Hi All.

So, Against my better judgement, I purchased the Mid-Ranged pre-expansion, the Fables of Feywild.  Yeah, I probably should have waited, but I have been wanting a white unicorn mount long before I even started playing this game, and it seems that SSG had finally made my wishes come true.  Oh, I like playing this game, even with all its problems.  So after viewing the White Unicorn from the splash screens, I said, "here, take my money."

Unwise decision.

What the (multiple) splash screens promised:



A noble stead, a bit bemused looking, but proud and elegant. Something I would probably ride forever.  What I had been waiting for, since - well, forever.  My congrats to the Art Department was gushing, to say the least.

What I got:



This mockery of a Unicorn. 

A true bait and switch.  I know I will not be able to get my money refunded, probably will not ever even be able to contact customer support, but I am sorely disappointed in this rather strange interpretation of a Unicorn.

The yellow/blonde mane and hair is rather unsettling.  Like a trailer-park floozy that dyed her hair blonde, but could not afford real hair dye and instead used hydrogen peroxide and a hair dryer.  And the strange beard.  Why?  Really, why?  It was on none of the Art Screen - why foist it upon us?

Sigh.  I guess I will go back to my Fast Mount - not a unicorn, but something I will be able to tolerate riding.
  
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AAH
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #1 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 2:46am
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Go for broke!

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Robot-Chicken-Nerd-and-the-Unicorn-Statue-7-Adult-Swim-...



Tempted to get that, make a Jerry action figure and mount it arse first on the horn.
  

Gunga wrote on Apr 6th, 2021 at 9:31am:
This game doesn’t deserve great players, honestly.
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AAH
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #2 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 3:10am
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Couldn't help myself.  I fkn hate unicorns.

  

Gunga wrote on Apr 6th, 2021 at 9:31am:
This game doesn’t deserve great players, honestly.
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NOTpopejubal
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #3 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 9:50am
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Goddamn that's ugly.
  
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Head-Meat
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #4 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 9:58am
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Agree. The back one is cool. The white one is... “Fabulous.”
  


Strake wrote on Mar 31st, 2020 at 1:51pm:
Like every group, there are schlubs and there are stars, and a lot in between. Pick your cause and I can say the same thing about the associated group.
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kum-gulp
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #5 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 10:22am
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Hey, don't knock it. It takes some skill to base it on a horse model but still manage to make it look like a Tiger King.
  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #6 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 10:46am
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What's with the "beards"?

So retarded.
  

Do not try the patience of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner, holographic demons and invocation of equations. These are the tools we employ, and we know many things.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #7 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:04am
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AAH wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 2:46am:
Go for broke!

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Robot-Chicken-Nerd-and-the-Unicorn-Statue-7-Adult-Swim-...

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/0qQAAOSwjyZeFkVI/s-l1600.jpg

Tempted to get that, make a Jerry action figure and mount it arse first on the horn.


You should totally do that.  Sell them as Christmas tree ornaments!

It’s like they knew that simply adding unicorns was gay and retarded, but not enough.  Then they realized that giving it a blowjob ball sack warmer was the way to go.

Even squinting and turning down brightness doesn’t help, because from the side under those conditioned it looks like a saber toothed retard.

Kudos yet again to SSG for taking an egregiously terrible idea and making it exponentially worse.
  
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Reyes.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #8 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:07am
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Stupid looking color? For sure.

As for the beard. You need to soak more in lore, as gay as it sounds.
  
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Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #9 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:17am
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Reyes. wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:07am:
Stupid looking color? For sure.

As for the beard. You need to soak more in lore, as gay as it sounds.


It’s not that they added a beard as much as it’s that they added a beard that looks like it got that hair gel treatment from There’s Something About Mary. 

I’m assuming they modeled it after Cordo’s facial catcher.

  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #10 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:19am
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Having seen several unicorns, I can actually confirm that they did match exactly to real life.
  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #11 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:54am
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NWO did unicorns better imo
  
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Reyes.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #12 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 12:05pm
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Justanotherlurker wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:54am:
NWO did unicorns better imo


Oh yes indeed.

As for OP I wonder what he expected? After seeing the "bone devil mount" or however it was named, i lost all expectations on good looking horse variations.
Really they will just add on random crap on top of the horse model and call that craptastic design their newest hit.
  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #13 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 12:19pm
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The black unicorn looks lit with gold sparkles etc but not going to spend 130$ just for cosmetics. I am more curious to see how the loot is going to be, as it was planned for level cap increase.
Wait & watch mode for now.
  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #14 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 12:56pm
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I don't give a crap about cosmetics. But, I care about the teleport item..
  


Strake wrote on Mar 31st, 2020 at 1:51pm:
Like every group, there are schlubs and there are stars, and a lot in between. Pick your cause and I can say the same thing about the associated group.
Gunga wrote on Oct 5th, 2022 at 2:27am:
Bitcoin. lul
--Who is luling in March 2025?
*Proud FORCCer*
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #15 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 1:20pm
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Head-Meat wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 12:56pm:
I don't give a crap about cosmetics. But, I care about the teleport item..

Yeah...I do too.

I am really going through an internal struggle about whether to even get this expansion at all.

I feel like I'm being forced to get the $130 version (because I'd want the teleport thingy) or not get it at all.

I bought MotU, Shadowfell Conspiracy, Ravenloft, and Sharn as soon as they became available. The fact I haven't bought Feywild yet, I think is telling me something.
  

Do not try the patience of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner, holographic demons and invocation of equations. These are the tools we employ, and we know many things.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #16 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 1:21pm
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I don't suppose it comes with a new wonderous mount bag? I'm kinda fucked if not...
  

I'll never understand the propensity of people to brag about being good at a video game. Its a toy you play with for fun. The only person who should be proud of you is your mother. If you're 3.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #17 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 1:41pm
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No offense but...how the fuck could you think for a second that that splash screen would in anyway represent anything in this step above pixel and sprite graphics game?

The very second I saw it I immediately thought "there's no way in hell those are in-game graphics" well before I'd read the text of your post.
  

Turbine policy - glitches and poor coding resulting in interference of your game play or enjoyment will be ignored. Glitches or poor coding on the developers side that at all benefit your game play or enjoyment will result in your character being banned and/or items from your inventory deleted. Please report all bugs via our bug report...when it works.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #18 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 2:16pm
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Are you sure that it isn’t a mirror universe unicorn?
  
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Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #19 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 2:28pm
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Head-Meat wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 12:56pm:
I don't give a crap about cosmetics. But, I care about the teleport item..


Yeah, that and the +1 Tome of Destiny made me cough up the extra dough. 

That said, unicorns, pets and cosmetics are all ugly AF.  DDO’s aversion to curved lines is painfully obvious in the displacer beast’s tentacles.  Also, it’s like they have any graphic artist jobs filled by people barely qualified to work with finger paints...the Feywild Mosaic set looks like a WWI-era French soldier tried fucking a stained glass window after drinking too much wine.
  
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #20 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 4:43pm
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Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 11:17am:
It’s not that they added a beard as much as it’s that they added a beard that looks like it got that hair gel treatment from There’s Something About Mary. 

I’m assuming they modeled it after Cordo’s facial catcher.



I think they modelled it on this guy from the movie Stardust.



Not sure.  Could be the lead programmer at SSG.
  

Gunga wrote on Apr 6th, 2021 at 9:31am:
This game doesn’t deserve great players, honestly.
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AAH
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #21 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 4:47pm
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Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz wrote on Oct 13th, 2020 at 2:28pm:
the Feywild Mosaic set looks like a WWI-era French soldier tried fucking a stained glass window after drinking too much wine.


Yeah I thought he had a pizza wrapped around his ankle.
  

Gunga wrote on Apr 6th, 2021 at 9:31am:
This game doesn’t deserve great players, honestly.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #22 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 5:21pm
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Not my best work but the idea is there.
  

Gunga wrote on Apr 6th, 2021 at 9:31am:
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #23 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 6:31pm
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That face says "I know I will look like shit in game".

Even Bronis wouldn't touch that.
  

Grab life by the pussy.
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Re: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Reply #24 - Oct 13th, 2020 at 6:37pm
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Uhhh no thanks.
  
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