I quit the game 14 years ago for many of the same reasons posted here. The game was changing to make it more like all the other games. Everything that made DDO unique was getting muted - content was being replaced by grind, cool and interesting loot was being replaced by loot-by-numbers.
I've never really found a replacement. I had two come close. The first was Wildstar. It was unique, innovative, fresh, and had an active combat system, though not as good as DDO's once was. It had the pitfall common to too many MMOs in that it was a single player game until endgame... which is just the dumbest thing I've ever come across. The whole point of massively multiplayer is to play with other players. But, okay, the game was interesting enough. However, the barrier to entering endgame was way too high. In order to attune for endgame, you had to do a bunch of group stuff. But since there was no pugging mentality, that meant you had to be in a guild... which were not formed while leveling up because why bother when it's a single player game? The attuning process was grindy and boring, so there was no support from attuned players or guilds to group up and help others. The net result was that many, many people - myself included - were never able to attune, and never set foot into endgame raiding.
The second potential replacement was New World - it had an active combat system, graphics were fantastic, and I had a lot of fun. Grouping - both pug, guild, and massive community loot runs - were easy to get going. But it was loot-by-numbers, and they quickly started down the path of providing grind instead of content. It wasn't long before I found myself playing it like a job - log in, do chores, run various quests to get the required gems required to level up any gear you wanted to use. At that point, it had become like DDO for me when I left (at the time, log in, run Shroud for mats, repeat daily).
The common thread here is crafting... something I've never particularly enjoyed, and something that DDO did not have early on. For whatever reason, running quests to get loot is just more interesting to me than endlessly grinding for mats to craft loot. Yup, they're both grinds, but somehow grinding for mats instead of a chance at the desired loot is just even more boring and job-like.
There was a short period of time, maybe 2006 through 2008 or 2009, where DDO was truly amazing and unique. I'm saddened to know that the reality is that I may never find another game that captures that magic again. DDO certainly will never achieve the greatness it once had, it's too far gone (by far!) now.
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