File this under pointless downtime drama for the sake of drama and don’t take it too seriously. On the other hand – you probably should take it seriously.
One thing I’ve noticed in the other threads is there seems to be an inability for some people to be able to distinguish between a good player and a player with a powerful toon. Really it comes down between the differences between a good driver vs. a driver in the most expensive, fastest car.
These are not the same thing.
I do not consider myself a pro player and God only knows I’m sure as hell not in a pro level guild. I’m by far not the best player on my server and I can’t even claim to be the best player in my own guild.
But I’m ok and I’ll tell you what I can do: I can take a 1st life alt with no reaper points and solo every quest in the game (that doesn’t need multiple levers pulled) on r1 through heroics. With a toon that has half a dozen past lives (and that’s ate some tomes) I can solo everything in epics through the Storm Horns. Give me the same toon with at least 25 reaper points and I can now solo through RL (I’m not going to fly through and I might die a few times in a few quests, but I can pull it off).
A lot of this list will be my own petty annoyances, but I have to admit: I am fed the fuck up with some of these so called pro players from so called pro guilds bragging their way through easy content while forcing me to burn through stacks of rez scrolls because either their alts suck more ass than…something that sucks a lot of ass, or because their performances are total shit as soon as you take their reaper points away.
So here’s a nice guide to tell if you suck and how much you suck.
The Math -The math is nice and easy. We’re on a sliding scale of 1-100 of how much ass some people suck at this game with 100 being the most amount of ass you can fit in your mouth and 1 being a nice, small, reasonable bite of buttocks.
Add your points and divide by 3. Add one point for every past life, one for every epic past life, one for every racial past life, one for every iconic past life and (most importantly) one for every reaper point. Take your total and divide by 3. I’m going to give a list of very reasonable examples and if any of these things have ever happened to you – look at your number to know how badly you suck.
And tying into the 1st point – the number of your best toon counts against all your other toons. If your strongest toon has an 80 number and one of the examples happens to you repeatedly on your alt – the big number still counts.
Which brings us to the TL;DR short list example of how to tell if you suck:
#1. If your alt sucks, you suck. And I’m not talking about not able to run R10 or dying a few more times than everyone else on R6. But if your alt sucks up a basic R1 run that should be an easy solo, if your alt dies a lot in EE, if your alt is basically just doing a long run pike, you suck as a player. You should consider switching to playing Candy Crush or drinking bleach. I don’t care which.
I don’t care how good your (read: how many reaper points) your primary toon has. If you’re sucking up my run because as soon as you get out of that fast car into something more challenging, you have to survive on gear, build and skill alone. Your alt shows how good you are at this game and a shitty alt shows how much you suck at this game.
Not even going to call the guild I have in mind out on this one – but for such a high profile player, I suspect your guild is nothing but your own shitty alts. And for someone who plays their alts more than their prime, it’s not like they’re that weak any more. Yeah, your prime has some serious reaper points – but you are one of the shittiest players on the server. Your alts suck big time.
#2. If you die in EE, look at your number because that’s how much you suck. I’m not talking about extreme cases like being one shot in Precious Cargo or bad lag related deaths (where the whole party locks up and you can’t even tell if you’re alive or not). I’m talking quick, EE runs for sagas. If you think reaper is easier than EE, you’re not a good player. You just have a lot of reaper points.
#3. If you die in EN you suck beyond words. If I have to walk back and rez your fucking ass because you died in a fucking dailies run of all things, you suck beyond belief. I don’t care if you normally run mid reaper, I don’t care if you can group in R10, I don’t care if you can fucking solo R10. As soon as I have to walk back with a scroll in hand if fucking EN, all my respect for you is lost.
There is absolutely nothing in EN that should be able to kill a decent player. Ever. And I have rezed some of the supposed top players on the server multiple times on dailies runs.
Bonus points: for every level you are above the quest level – double your level of suckyness. So if you’re a triple everything completionist with wings at level 24 in a level 21 fucking dailies run and you die (fucking multiple times, I’m glad your guild has a really gay name instead of the badass one you used to have), you should be looking at a number well beyond 100. If you’re dinging multiple times in a fucking dailies, your level of suckyness is well off the charts.
#4. If you die in a wilderness area - you probably suck. To be fair, that was Carl. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Carl brag or claim to be a pro-level player regardless of what guild he’s in. Plus his name makes me laugh. I’m going to give that one a pass.
#5. If you lead the death count but are last on the kill count on an R1 run – you probably suck. Most quests you really shouldn’t be dying at all on pussy reaper, but I don’t judge that hard. Plus the number is important here. 3 past lives and 12 reaper points? Your suck scale is only at a 5, don’t take it hard.
But wings, triple compleionist everything and you had a death count of 5 and a kill count of 10? You’ve earned that 97 score of sucking, because your build sucks, your gear sucks and you suck at playing your toon.
#6. You complain other people aren’t killing everything for you fast enough because your toon sucks too much to push ahead without dying. You suck. If speed is that important to you, stick to a low difficulty you can handle on your own.
#7. If you’re always trying to argue your way into groups you’re over level for – you suck. Ok, I don’t think any of the supposed pros do this. That’s more of the not so good casuals wanting to get into a reaper group and fuck everyone else’s XP up because they can’t run a fucking quest they’re 2, 4, or 6 levels above. They need a reminder that they kind of suck.
But if you’re accepted by accident and asked nicely to leave then cause a fuss about it – you don’t just suck, you’re a failure as a human being.
Speaking of which:
#8. If you lock out other people’s reaper groups – you are a fucking piece of shit and should drink bleach. I’m not talking “got wife aggro and had to quit quickly and recalled without thinking,” and I’m not talking the honest “I did not know that’s”. I’m talking fucking “pro” players who fucking know better that rage quit because their alts suck ass and they’re whining that someone else isn’t killing everything fast enough for them.
Seriously man, you're a fucking douche. You’re a shit player with shit alts and a shit personality to boot.
#9. Can’t run the quest on EE or R1 because your glass cannon build needs someone in front of you to suck up the damage while you snipe all the easy kills? You suck. I soloed that quest on reaper an hour ago. Don’t beg me to help you run it then brag about your kill count when all you did was stand behind me and snipe kills.
#10. It’s quicker to run past mobs then destroy them? You suck. I have to remind you that part of the point of the dailies is the XP? You suck. Sorry, but if you can’t kill every single thing in a dailies run just as quickly as you can run through it – you suck.
90% certain it was the same guy from #9. Same guild.
#11. Your blue bar is gone literally a minute after starting a quest because you’re trying to instant kill every weak mob that doesn’t need instant killing? You suck.
#12. Standing at the boss fight with no spell points? You suck. Standing at the boss fight with no spell points because you blow through your bar by leaping down the hall every 4 fucking seconds? Double your score. If you can’t put the connection between your empty blue bar and the fact that 10 spell points every 3 to 4 seconds really adds up? Not only do you suck, you’re kind of stupid.
#13. Standing at a boss fight with no spell points and not healing the melees that are doing all the work to complete the quest? You suck and are possibly a douche.
#14. Playing a divine class and not being able to self-heal? You suck and are possibly not that bright. Bonus points: running Baba as a cleric and the only deaths are on your side because the arcanes on the other side are keeping their melees alive. You didn’t notice because you’re too busy trying to rack up your kill count. You suck and are kind of a douche.
#15. Rolling for everything in a raid on your fucking alt of all things? Yeah, this doesn’t fall into a quantifiable measurement of a player’s skills – but it’s a douche move and you suck for it.
#16. Sucking up all the lost souls when you have the lowest kill count or sucking up all the lost souls when your bar is almost full – you suck. Don’t get me wrong, if I’m doing all the work in a weak party, as far as I’m concerned, all the lost souls are mine. But in a higher difficulty with someone with a stronger toon carrying us? Yeah, I’m not touching a single one. Part of being a decent player is knowing when helping yourself isn’t really helping yourself.
So, there you have it. Hope it gives you a little reflection and you take the time to suck less
Pages: 1
How to tell if you suck (Read 29965 times)
